Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
