that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
