what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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