What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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