Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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  (913): Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy. (1-913): You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you. http://tfl.nu/j71x
  Replies (26) Good night (2594) Bad night (682)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one

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  (215): i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god (215): ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one http://tfl.nu/ngdq
  Replies (10) Good night (3230) Bad night (614)
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  (831): View more from California

  you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger

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  (831): you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger http://tfl.nu/xtvv
  Replies (11) Good night (3795) Bad night (1115)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

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  (423): Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/w5j3
  Replies (37) Good night (4287) Bad night (1177)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

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  (801): the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome http://tfl.nu/ugx7
  Replies (14) Good night (5656) Bad night (1182)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this

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  (816): I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this http://tfl.nu/u2zv
  Replies (20) Good night (1222) Bad night (6242)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

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  (216): This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life. http://tfl.nu/j431
  Replies (54) Good night (7209) Bad night (1149)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.

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  (870): Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships. http://tfl.nu/i0ve
  Replies (18) Good night (1418) Bad night (3428)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.

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  (575): you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/lmrm
  Replies (10) Good night (3102) Bad night (1031)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.

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  (507): My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp. http://tfl.nu/u9b9
  Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (441)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack

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  (502): Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack http://tfl.nu/0ld5
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (700)
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  (530): View more from California

  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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  (530): Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them. http://tfl.nu/oho5
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (425)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY

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  (309): QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY http://tfl.nu/578t
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (306)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.

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  (914): Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing. http://tfl.nu/rvdd
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (332)
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  (716): View more from New York

  We found Mulan.

  (409): View more from Texas

  I thought you were in bed what the hell

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  (716): We found Mulan. (409): I thought you were in bed what the hell http://tfl.nu/ar2j
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (362)

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