Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me

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  (970): Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me http://tfl.nu/ja6v
  Replies (0) Good night (1353) Bad night (686)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..

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  (651): You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold.. http://tfl.nu/rd4a
  Replies (18) Good night (5833) Bad night (678)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?

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  (859): do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night? http://tfl.nu/r2u5
  Replies (17) Good night (1039) Bad night (5034)
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  (961): View more from

  I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit

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  (961): I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit http://tfl.nu/r0do
  Replies (28) Good night (7721) Bad night (1728)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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  (617): I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/p474
  Replies (21) Good night (1292) Bad night (5028)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed

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  (219): I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/t98c
  Replies (2) Good night (1945) Bad night (880)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself

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  (902): She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself http://tfl.nu/gzky
  Replies (8) Good night (890) Bad night (3103)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.

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  (+44): That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal. http://tfl.nu/r9bl
  Replies (6) Good night (2775) Bad night (895)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  I feel like you never had a virginity..

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  (806): He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to. (1-806): I feel like you never had a virginity.. http://tfl.nu/77ey
  Replies (10) Good night (3214) Bad night (1263)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  fair point

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  (630): oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us (1-630): fair point http://tfl.nu/efw3
  Replies (8) Good night (1834) Bad night (921)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.

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  (919): Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out. http://tfl.nu/vb1r
  Replies (3) Good night (1251) Bad night (990)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.

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  (919): When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs. http://tfl.nu/7b1r
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (635)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.

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  (817): I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional. http://tfl.nu/nh0n
  Replies (1) Good night (1100) Bad night (419)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You texted me a picture of your face along with #help

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  (410): You texted me a picture of your face along with #help http://tfl.nu/jxdb
  Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (451)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari

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  (205): I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari http://tfl.nu/g3b8
  Replies (3) Good night (1008) Bad night (483)

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