I'm drive I can fine osifer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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