Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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