why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize