TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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