the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
