Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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