Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
