I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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