the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
