I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize