Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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