Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
