Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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