I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
