the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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