Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I'm really busy with my period
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