I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
