the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hippo gnu deer
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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