Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
