I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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