haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
