After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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