whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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