Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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