Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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