Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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