Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
