Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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