Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Come share oat with me in your robe
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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