before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
