Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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