I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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