how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
