Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The power of my boobs compel you
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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