They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
