I wish I could punch you in the face.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
