He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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