every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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