i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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