i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize