dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
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Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.