He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?