yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off