My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
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We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks