The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
