Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I did not marry a roomba.
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