Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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