Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
