Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
