Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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