sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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