If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
