i just google imaged poop.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
