Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize