I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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