I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
