I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
