In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize